Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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