Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
