Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
sarcasm needs its own font
17 year olds will be the death of me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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