we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
