I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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