Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dignity is for republicans.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
