I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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