somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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