There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
