Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
