that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This baby is an asshole
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
