you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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