Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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