Whod you bang
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize