Me too!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
