Sry I called you an 8
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
