I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
