I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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