oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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