It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
vagina is talking i cant
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize