Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
