At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
