I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
