oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
