and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
