You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
