hotel room ftw
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
