All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
