I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
