Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
