im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
