I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
ttyl tear gas
The air was thick with penises
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
