if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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