Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize