Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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