He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
