I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
