whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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