I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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