u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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