Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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