That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
