white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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