it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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