Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
