I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
