Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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