you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
