Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
