i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
