I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
