"it" just moved
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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