thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize