I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
